Level 1

I was playing Halo 2 the other day, trying to move my ranking back from a 12 to a 13. The other members on my team had quit out (automatic last place), and I didn't need to finish last. So I dragged the game out and it eventually ended with some guy shooting me in the face yelling, "Next time just quit." These guys apparently had some major swing because my level dropped from a 12 to a 1. Their remedy, I feel, was draconian. The good news, I've been kicking ass against these lower level suckas and I'm already back to a 7.

Beyond Pooptastrophe

I have learned it is not uncommon for a baby to go several days without having bowel movement. In fact, yesterday Ally was about on day 5. After consultation with one of the nurses, I was sent to the pharmacy to obtain some medicine. So I was at the second pharmacy in line when I saw young man go behind the side of the counter and grab two cartons of Kool cigarettes. He entered the line behind and soon began adjusting his clothes. I turned around and without making eye contact saw his jacket was open and he was in the process of stuffing the fourth carton down the front of his pants. Surely the lone clerk manning the cash register saw this or perhaps some of the other workers milling around up front. Apparently not. While I was running through possible options in my head, this young man left the line and went around the counter again and came back with two additional cartons of Kool cigarettes. He stuffed those down the front of his pants as well. Well, I considered stepping out line and alerting one of the employees, but then thought I've got a 10 week old baby at home and I'm really busy at work, this being the end of our fiscal year and all. The last thing I need is to be jacked in the face by this guy who had about 6 six inches on me. So I, presumably like the other 5 people in line and all the employees, let this man go about his shoplifting business and leave the store. When I returned home, we had to consult the doctor since the medicine I had obtained called for consulting a doctor when giving the medicine to a child less than two years old. The doctor's advice contradicted the nurse's. That is, she told us to wait it out. Later, I was downstairs with my other brother when Erica called "Dave! Dave! Dave." I ran upstairs and was hit immediately by the stench. The stench had always been absent before. Now it was if the sewer line had backed up into the house. The diaper was overflowing with a brown mush. Now, we've been through a few pooptastrophes, but this was beyond pooptastrophe, it wasn't human. So to sum up, poops are less frequent, but more potent.

Impending Doom

Well, due to an inadvertent disclosure by one of my brothers, my mother now knows I have a blog. "You have a blog? I'm so proud of you" "No, and don't be." She is currently searching to find it. Luckly, there is another person with my name that has a blog. Worlds potentially colliding. Not that your level of comments even approaches quality, but if she were to find this blog, well, I just might have to turn off the comments feature.

Overheard in Baltimore

In Dunkin Donuts:

Woman: I'm from New York.
Man: I never would have guessed New York, your personality is much too beautiful to be from New York.
Man: What part of New York?
Woman: Westchester.

Good News, Bad News

Good News: New maps and some of them are free. Bad News: No Hang 'em High, ever. Here's the Story.

1500+

W-blog traffic is Up.

New Ally Photos: Month 2-3

This is the first batch. More too be added through April 12th.

Salt On The Wound

Frankly, I think Mizzou fans are behind This.

Somewhat Interesting

Overheard in New York

Hogzilla

A couple of you seem quite interested in the story of Hogzilla. ummmm, bacon.

The Baltimore Bees

The thing about March is more often than not, your team will lose in the tourney. But the good thing about March is that fantasy baseball kicks off. So you know how this story ends, but for me March is segue way into fantasy baseball. That said, a recap is in order. Well GW was the local game, so I had to go out to watch KU. So my friend Tim and I went out to a bar in Federal Hill. We bellied up to the bar in front of giant plamsa screen TV. No sound, but a great view. We couldn't shake Bucknell, but I still felt we would pull this one out. A couple of Kansas fans and one Bucknell fan were present. Tight game, I believe we were tied or losing by just a few at the half. In the second half we fell behind, my friend Tim turned to me and said he was officially rooting against KU. This hurt because I had recruited Tim from Dallas to come work with me. And although I silently had rooted against Kentucky on Thursday, I wasn't such a dick that I ever came out and said I was rooting against them. But still I had little doubt we would run away with this game. But the game stayed close and time ticked off the clock. Without sound and with booze, it was hard to put my finger on why we losing. Turnovers and great shots by Bucknell. Poor play by Giddens, but he wasn't the main cause. Soon a win was in jeopardy, and then it slipped out of our hands. We were going to lose. I heard the Bucknell fan say in reference to the Bison mascot, "I used to wear that." The former Bison mascot was sitting right behind me. A final chance to win, but a missed shot. This stings badly, but it's also why college basketball is so great. All will be forgotten by November. Time for baseball. Ironically, as of this moment I'm winning the W-blog tournament. Enjoy the rest of the tourney, but I won't be watching, it's too bitter. Hats off to Bucknell.

Let's Get Ready To Rumble

We've got 11 entries so far, get your picks in. $20/person.

Step It Up People

7 Entries so far

My New Favorite Show

http://www.fox.com/arresteddev/
Go to videos. Click on "21. Ep. 210 - Video Clip".

What I Would Have Given For A Pool Boy To Walk The Dog This Winter

Spears told the magazine. “Before we got married we were on tour, and we were just like kids, ordering room service, saying, ‘Let’s go out tonight. Then, all of a sudden, you have this home, you have the kids [Federline’s children Kaleb and Kori], you have to get the diapers, get the dog to the vet. It’s this reality. Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can’t I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.”

1st Annual W-Blog NCAA Bracket Invitational

No entry fee. Prize yet to be determined.

Ally's Two Month Birthday Is Today

Month 1-2 (Feb 13 - March 12) Photo Album has been closed out: view photos

Hopefully My Trip To The Dentist Goes Better 

For Those Of You That Actually Read Books

My Cousin just wrote a book. Actually she has written two, but this is her latest effort, which Entertainment Weekly gave an A-.

Quality of Opposing Counsel Has Dropped

I actually settled a case with these people recently (names and other text changed to protect my anonymity):

'THE LEGAL ASSISTANTS' POSE NUDE FOR A CALENDAR TO RAISE MONEY FOR LOCAL CHARITIES

Angel Smith, paralegal, works long hours for a Florida attorney and developer. She's a mom and a community leader, president of the ___________ Civic Association.

She also looks great naked.

Smith, 33, is one-fifth of The Legal Assistants, a group of women who posed nude for a poster calendar to raise money for Florida charities. The black-and-white poster is an homage to an iconic fashion photograph from 1987 and shows the calendar girls with their bodies entwined.

Yes, it's nudity, Smith said, but it's tasteful -- the women used a professional photographer, and all private parts are concealed by a swath of tanned leg or a swish of silky hair.

Response has been overwhelming so far, Smith said. The calendar sells for a minimum $20 donation, and at last count ''The Legal Assistants'' has raised nearly $4,000.

Tasteful or not, nudity is not to everyone's taste, and groups named as beneficiaries of the calendar sales say they were not contacted about the project and would not have willingly associated with it.

''We wanted to help the community and have fun doing it,'' said attorney Phillip Sanchez, who has worked with Smith for 10 years. He bankrolled the daylong photo shoot -- which he did not attend -- and is helping promote the poster.

Smith said the women had planned to first collect all the money and then give the checks to the organizations. Buyers were asked to make their checks payable to one of the three charities, until they complained. Now checks go to Sanchez, who promises to direct the money to charity.

''It's not like we're exposing ourselves,'' said Smith, who hatched the calendar idea last summer and spent months tracking down would-be models.

Paralegal Tina ___________, 31, a mother of four, said she didn't see anything objectionable about the calendar. When Smith asked her to pose, she agreed instantly.

''It was a very positive thing, an honorable thing,'' said Smith, whose mother was helped by [a charity] after a divorce. ``The human body is a piece of art.''

Smith's husband and 11-year-old daughter approve of the charity calendar, she said.

The Legal Assistants have attracted a dedicated fan base since the calendar was released late last year. One buyer, Barry Hien of Chicago, Ill., wrote to suggest the women get their own TV show, a la Desperate Housewives:

''This is a stimulating piece of art that should lead to a television series entitled The Legal Assitants,'' Hien wrote. ``If the Housewives can make it, so can The Legal Assistants.''

But even here, reality rains on fantasy: Not all five of the women are paralegals.

But the two actual paralegals, Smith and Tina ________-- who's also a mother of four -- say that probably won't hamper anyone's enjoyment of the calendar Young, along with the others, doesn't plan to quit her day job for the glamorous life.

On the day of the calendar shoot last September, she got dressed afterward and rushed off to speak at a County Commission meeting.

Smith says the calendar will be an annual inspiration to stay fit and take care of herself. She says it will also, years later, be a personal triumph.

'In 20 years, I'm going to look at the poster and go, `Holy crud, I looked like that!' ''

A Little Something For My 8 Loyal Readers, That's 8 Including Myself

I'm sure she'll be fine. Props to Ashley on this one.

Set Your Tivo For Mansquito

How good is This?

Site Meter

The W-blog site meter indicates well over 1,000 Hits. Please post a comment. I'm trying to get an idea of the number of readers.

March Madness

March has begun, now begin the madness: Today's RPI Rankings
My predictions for #1 seeds are KU, Illinois, Wake, & UNC
Sched SS Wtd
Rank Team W L Strg Rk RPI
1. Kansas 21 4 .6569 1 .6775
2. Illinois 28 0 .5570 54 .6644
3. Oklahoma St. 19 5 .6285 2 .6580
4. Wake Forest 24 4 .5872 13 .6560
5. Boston College 23 2 .5628 44 .6540
6. Washington 22 4 .5870 14 .6536
7. North Carolina 24 3 .5701 34 .6519
8. Duke 21 4 .6029 8 .6514
9. Arizona 24 5 .5911 12 .6423
10. Gonzaga 22 4 .5751 26 .6398
11. Kentucky 22 3 .5571 53 .6363
12. Villanova 19 6 .6134 4 .6273
13. Southern Illinois 23 6 .5735 28 .6228
14. Alabama 20 6 .5810 18 .6188
15. Wisconsin 18 7 .5915 10 .6167
16. Michigan St. 20 5 .5507 63 .6138
17. Cincinnati 22 6 .5855 16 .6136
18. Oklahoma 21 6 .5706 33 .6119
19. Utah 22 4 .5300 99 .6109
20. Connecticut 19 6 .5776 24 .6092
21. Syracuse 24 5 .5380 86 .6049
22. Pacific 23 2 .5006 163 .6049
23. Vermont 21 6 .5359 90 .6048
24. Louisville 22 4 .5335 95 .6018
25. Miami-OH 16 8 .5665 39 .5989
26. Charlotte 21 4 .5079 142 .5951
27. LSU 17 8 .5782 23 .5945
28. Nevada 21 5 .5351 93 .5926
29. St. Mary's 22 7 .5313 97 .5904
30. Mississippi St. 20 8 .5471 67 .5894
31. UCLA 16 9 .5826 17 .5891
32. Florida 18 7 .5569 55 .5867
33. Texas Tech 17 8 .5626 45 .5861
34. Wichita St. 19 7 .5229 117 .5850
35. Stanford 16 10 .5682 36 .5830
36. Texas 18 8 .5458 69 .5807
37. Holy Cross 22 5 .5047 152 .5807
38. Old Dominion 24 5 .4844 198 .5803
39. Akron 16 8 .5442 73 .5787
40. Maryland 16 10 .6036 7 .5779
41. DePaul 18 7 .5242 112 .5777
42. Buffalo 18 7 .5201 122 .5772
43. Northern Iowa 19 9 .5403 80 .5751
44. Arkansas Ltl Rock 15 9 .5552 60 .5738
45. Georgia Tech 16 9 .5661 41 .5738
46. Kent St. 16 10 .5578 51 .5732
47. Minnesota 19 9 .5556 59 .5711
48. Davidson 17 7 .5387 84 .5707
49. Northeastern 19 8 .5270 104 .5693
50. Notre Dame 16 9 .5581 50 .5689
51. UTEP 21 7 .5069 145 .5686
52. Louisiana-Lafayette 16 10 .5382 85 .5686
53. West Virginia 18 8 .5238 115 .5671
54. Pennsylvania 17 8 .5058 147 .5654
55. Boston University 20 7 .4935 177 .5650
56. Western Kentucky 19 7 .4852 195 .5638
57. Arizona St. 18 11 .5646 43 .5635
58. UW-Milwaukee 20 5 .4585 259 .5615
59. Virginia 13 12 .6060 5 .5615
60. George Washington 18 6 .4878 187 .5611
61. Houston 18 10 .5256 109 .5608
62. Marquette 17 9 .5557 58 .5605
63. Miami-FL 16 10 .5763 25 .5596
64. Pittsburgh 18 7 .5207 120 .5595