Gay Liveration...
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Today's lunch was at an old Jewish deli located on what's left of Baltimore's "Corned Beef Row". I've never really been a fan of chopped liver. I think my grandmother pushed too much of it on me when I was younger. I've only recovered in the past 5 years to point where I can eat sauerkraut again from the torment my brother used to inflict on me by pinning me down and force feeding me sauerkraut. But today's story really isn't about me. It's about Tim. Some of you know Tim. We work together here in Baltimore. Tim likes Chopped Liver. And today while we standing in line he informed me he was going to step out and move up from the "The Lombard Street" - Hot Corned Beef, Hot Pastrami, Chopped Liver and Russian Dressing to Sandwich #31 a/k/a, The Gay Liveration - Corned Beef, Chopped Liver, Imported Swiss, Lettuce and Bermuda Onion. Now one of the things I find unusual about this deli is that I don't think one Jewish person works there. The counter is run by good ole' blue-collar bawlmore working folk. Their tattoos are the scary kind. Anyway, this exchange happens in front of scores of people:
Tim: I'll have the #31.
Worker: What?
Tim: I'll have the #31.
Worker: What, you're afraid to say Gay Liveration?
Tim: I'll have the Gay Liveration.
Worker (loudly): One Gay Liveration.
Worker: You're turning bright red.
Tim: It's the reflection from your shirt (Deli guy had a redshirt on).
Worker: I'm standing 4 feet away from you.
Tim (to me): He's right, I could feel myself turning red.
Later - Tim is getting a drink
Worker: Hey, #31, you want Russian Dressing on that.
Tim: Yeah, I think so.
Tim to me: I think I like this guy.
Me: I do.
Later at the register
Worker (yelling order to the lady 1 ft. from him running the cash register): One Gay Liveration for the young man, one Dr. Brown's, one potato pancake.
Worker: Hey there is a magazine behind you that you might like.
On our way out, I check to see what magazine this guy is talking about. There it is, the Queer Issue of the City Paper. The whole exchange reminded me of Mike Tyson's last fight. I think Tim has probably had his last Gay Liveration, not that there's anything wrong with that. Bawlmore, it's not Amherst, MA. On the way home, a female co-worker tried to make Tim feel better, I think, by stating to the group that she thinks Tim is nice dresser, but doesn't think he's gay. I'm sure Ann will be thrilled to hear that. For the record, I got the Hungry Man. You can't go wrong with the Hungry Man - Corned Beef, Salami, Swiss, Cole Slaw and Russian Dressing.
Tim: I'll have the #31.
Worker: What?
Tim: I'll have the #31.
Worker: What, you're afraid to say Gay Liveration?
Tim: I'll have the Gay Liveration.
Worker (loudly): One Gay Liveration.
Worker: You're turning bright red.
Tim: It's the reflection from your shirt (Deli guy had a redshirt on).
Worker: I'm standing 4 feet away from you.
Tim (to me): He's right, I could feel myself turning red.
Later - Tim is getting a drink
Worker: Hey, #31, you want Russian Dressing on that.
Tim: Yeah, I think so.
Tim to me: I think I like this guy.
Me: I do.
Later at the register
Worker (yelling order to the lady 1 ft. from him running the cash register): One Gay Liveration for the young man, one Dr. Brown's, one potato pancake.
Worker: Hey there is a magazine behind you that you might like.
On our way out, I check to see what magazine this guy is talking about. There it is, the Queer Issue of the City Paper. The whole exchange reminded me of Mike Tyson's last fight. I think Tim has probably had his last Gay Liveration, not that there's anything wrong with that. Bawlmore, it's not Amherst, MA. On the way home, a female co-worker tried to make Tim feel better, I think, by stating to the group that she thinks Tim is nice dresser, but doesn't think he's gay. I'm sure Ann will be thrilled to hear that. For the record, I got the Hungry Man. You can't go wrong with the Hungry Man - Corned Beef, Salami, Swiss, Cole Slaw and Russian Dressing.
posted by DEW at 6/16/2005 11:34:00 PM
4 Comments:
Pretty good stuff. You're Jewish?
I found the experience enlightening and liverating. And, as I pointed out to the guy behind the counter, they named the damned sandwhich, not me, and the temptation of a mound of corned beef on top of a pile of chopped liver was too much to resist, regardless of the name.
is there an "overheardinbaltimore" website...?
ab
Dave, can I get in on your life insurance policy?
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