Wolfian Panic

Partial text of message sent from President of Company regarding another recent birth: "Ava weighs 5 lbs, 11oz, and so as not to send the company’s mothers into a Wolfian panic, ___ chose not to speculate as to her length, either crown to rump or otherwise."

On a side note, at the Company Christmas Party, _____ and his wife had yet to settle on a name for their daughter referenced above. _____’s wife mentioned she liked the name Ava, but they hadn’t decided. Regretfully, I threw my weight behind _____’s position and shot down the name Ava. Booze, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.