December 7th, 1991, A Day Which Will Live In Infamy

I realize I missed the 13th anniversary of this date, but pretend I didn't. Most of you have probably heard this story, but it's a good one. December 7, 1991, I was nearing the end of my term abroad in Japan. While in Japan, I lived with a Japanese host family. They took me into their home, showed me Japan and truly made me a part of their family. On this day, like on many other occassions during my time in Japan, I showed my true colors as an ugly American. By this time, my Japanese was equivalent to that of a 4 to 5 year old Japanese child with a major drinking problem. I have often remarked that it was my Japanese father's hobby to drink me under the table. Dinner usually involved a beer or two, followed by sake and then the night was finished off with scotch after scotch after scotch. It's been said that all hobby's have an ugly side, and on that night my Japanese father's hobby showed it's ugly side.

On the night in question, my Japanese father took me out to dinner and drinks with a friend or colleague of his, honestly if my Japanese was better I would have probably known this man's relationship to my Japanese father, but it wasn't. However, it should be noted that this was the first time I had been out drinking with my Old Man outside of the house. At the bar they were engaged in a conversation that might well have been Greek, I couldn't understand word one. After a few scotches, I decided to turn on the charm. Knowing that this day was in fact the 50th anniversary of the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, I decided that a toast was in order. I made my toast. It appeared nobody could understand me. I was impaired by two facts, one, I didn't know the Japanese word for fifty, and two, I didn't the Japanese word for enemies. However, even a four year old using his hands and broken Japanese could eventually convey his meaning, which after five to ten minutes I did. And thus once again I delivered my historic toast, "Fifty Years Ago Enemies, Today Friends." Oh this time they both understood me, but like a child that had conveyed family secrets in the presence of outsiders, I was politely ignored and they immediately returned to their conversation in Greek. It has been remarked that Japanese mores are not easily understood by Gaijin (foreigners), but I still maintain that something was Lost in Translation.